It starts when you receive the invitation in the mail—either your computer’s inbox or the one that your junk mail gets delivered to.That complex social problem of being asked to a party.
Do you bring the host or hostess something? If so, what? Is wine too pretentious? Perhaps craft beer, or is that elitist? And what to wear? Is it a casual gathering or a dinner party where at least a sport coat is needed? Is it acceptable to add a plus-one, since you just started dating the potential man or woman of your dreams?
While modern-day society may no longer follow the dictates of Emily Post’s rules of etiquette, there’s nothing like a fete to throw many of us into an internal tailspin.
To help navigate the often frustratingly unclear rules of attending a party—be it cocktail, dinner or a child’s birthday—the following tips can help:
• Call to RSVP. The French may not have a corner on manners, but they do know respondez s’il vous plait, or please reply. This is essential for the host to get an accurate headcount. Not to do so, is considered rude and inconsiderate.
• Decode the dress. Is it a formal affair that require tuxes and dresses, or a more casual, anything goes party? If you’re unsure, it’s never inappropriate to ask the hostess.
• Go dateless. Unless specifically stated, it is considered impolite to bring an uninvited guest or to ask if you can bring another. If you can bring a date, remember to RSVP for them, or conversely, if you accepted for your guest, and plans change, let the host know that as well.
• Hold your liquor. While you may want to imbibe all the free-flowing alcohol, avoid drinking to excess. Nothing is more disrespectful and intolerable than a drunk party guest, particularly at more upscale affairs.
• Take what you need to feel comfortable. For some that’s a small bottle of aspirin to ward off a headache, a pair of more comfortable shoes discreetly hidden in the folds of a coat, an embroidered handkerchief rather than bulky tissue, or if you’re a smokeless tobacco user, something other than a spit cup or bottle. Smokeless tobacco accessories, such as the portable spittoon, created by Atlanta-based FLASR, will help you avoid the uncomfortable (not to mention sometimes messy) aspects of enjoying your snuff, dip or chew while at a party. The new 4-ounce FLASR pocket-sized spittoon is designed to allow users to open and shut it with just one hand, making it an ideal solution for users to enjoy smokeless tobacco unobtrusively and discreetly without unwanted attention.
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